RelationTip
If
Mike Gerry’s medieval wedding doesn’t sound novel enough for you, try getting
married on a Windstar (877-827-7245) masted-sail yacht.
The cruise line, whose
motto is “180 degrees from ordinary,” offers a “Wedding Experience” that certainly
puts the capital “E” back into “event.” Meaning you can get married sailing
out of some distant atoll atop the secluded “flying bridge,” the white sails
billowing all around you.
Or should you prefer,
with a Maori tribal wedding dance in New Zealand. Sure beats another wedding
at the downtown Bar Mitzvah Carlton – especially if it’s not your first.
And you can now say “I do” without leaving the United States.
One vessel, the Wind Surf,
is scheduled to overnight at a private island certain to be appealing to honeymooners,
Half Moon Cay.
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RelationTrips
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Personal, Practical Advice for Every Traveler
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What if the Maui he wants isn't
the Maui she wants?
Too often, a
relationship’s first revealing test comes on a RelationTrip. You might have
arrived at one of earth’s most romantic destinations, and then you – or she
– realizes: Romantic? Says who? This isn’t my kind of romantic. What have
I done?
The couple in question, ostensibly in honeymoon-ardor, arrived at the airstrip
at Kahului, then navigated the sugarcane fields nestled beneath the two
dominant craters of Maui towards the “upcountry” slopes of the crater called
Haleakala – “House of the Sun.”
One can only guess at what they might have been imagining then, as the
vehicle transported them – in my view – heavenward. As you rise in elevation,
you enter a land of forever spring, fields verdant and filled with flowers
– and cows, horses, and rodeo rings.
This is Hawaiian cowboy country, with views in every direction. Ocean.
Far-off beaches. Distant islands. Cloud-capped heights. Gardens with familiar
daylilies blooming alongside more exotic proteas, a softball-sized bud the
size of something out of “Little Shop of Horrors,” only pretty – and pretty
benign.
It’s Edenic, if not exactly what you see on most postcards from Hawaii.
No coconut palms or oil here, no beachside mai tai’s – only crisp air,
redwoods, flower farms, tranquility.
To my mind it’s the best of both worlds. You can see the beach from 3,000
feet above it, a far-off stretch of sand that’s still only a 45-minute drive.
But outside your door are the fragrances of jasmine and other tropical flowers,
a full moon, an almost purple sky, and a hammock.
When the sun grows too strong or romantic tension too irresistable, you
can retreat to the quiet of your own cottage, aptly described by host Mike
Gerry as “a charming private retreat with king size bed, wood burning stove
and a full kitchen.” Then you can “enjoy the ocean view from the large covered
lanai or while soaking in the red clawfoot bathtub.” The cottage, he notes,
is a favorite with writers and romantics.
Gerry built “Silvercloud Ranch Bed and Breakfast” (800-532-1111, www.silvercloudranch.com or slvrcld@maui.net, $85-$150 double,
$195 for the cottage) as a way to finance his move from San Diego and mainland
insanity years ago, and he certainly has the touch of the romantic in him.
Some years back, he got married in front of the house, with miles of ocean,
sky, and mountains as a backdrop to a scene in which guests came in medieval
costume. The bride was a damsel hoisted down the balcony. The groom was,
naturally, wearing armor and riding a white horse.
But romantic is not exactly how this other couple saw “Silvercloud.” To
them, it didn’t even have a lining, and the two of them certainly didn’t come
to Maui for the occasional cloud.
Shortly after checking in, the woman complained, “it’s too quiet for us here.”
“That’s like saying it didn’t cost enough,” laughs Gerry.
In my view, he’s right, but never mind. The couple quickly paid and rushed
off to the one of the condo and resort strips spreading across two of Maui’s
shores like the Waikiki virus. We don’t really know the end of the story,
but we can assume that at least one of them was happier there.
And this is my point: You can either discuss your differences, dreams,
and expectations openly and honestly before you go on a trip – or find out
about it later. And one of the best places on the planet to find out later
is probably Maui.
Few other destinations offer more charming sources
of conflict. If he likes alpine hikes in 10,000-foot craters and she prefers
lolling around in her Victoria’s Secret bikini at the Ritz-Carlton Kapalua
(800-262-8440, $325-500 double), Maui’s the place.
If he wants the creature comforts of a full-service resort and hates to
drive, while she favors the wildness of a town deep in the jungle, where you
can’t even get a decent meal, they can fight about it all the way on the
winding road (hundreds of cliffside bends) to Hana. On the way, they can
even argue about what color sand they want on their beach – white or black.
If they settle on red, they might find themselves on a nudist strand, find
with him perhaps but at that point she might wish they’d gone watching for
whales.
Sometimes we don’t know who we’re with until we go somewhere else with
them. Sadly, that turns many holidays into stressful confrontations.
Of course, I know couples who have been together for many years and still
disagree about prospective trips – he wants camels, she wants castles, he
says banana, she says Beaujolais, that kind of thing.
But the most successful are couples who discuss their expectations openly,
make compromises, make trade offs – camels across the Sahara this year,
castles of the Loire next, for example – and above all, do so before booking
a trip. Because they know travel is not just about finding the best fare,
best destination, or best activities – it’s about designing the most compatible
RelationTrip.
-- Keith Epstein
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