Gays
and Lesbians Traveling to
Straightsville
Simple Tips to Follow to Have a Great Trip
Traveling as a gay man or lesbian becomes
challenging once
you venture outside the usual, safe destinations:
Rehoboth Beach, DE, Provincetown, MA, Key West, FL. There's a
smattering of destinations along the East
Coast, but not always easily within range. And sometimes you just
want to go somewhere else.
If you're traveling with your same sex special
someone, one option is for a remote location. Camping is always a
good option.
Even for the most high- maintenance of the
boys, there are usually public facilities
with everything from hot running water to electrical outlets for those
hair dryers.
Frequently, you can make reservations just
about anywhere, no questions asked, be it in the mountains or at the seashore.
Remote beaches, at least those away from major
tourist destinations, can offer a small, secluded beach house for any couple
looking for privacy.
Traveling in the straight world is just like
living in it day to day. You have to be willing to make sacrifices
one way or the other.
You can pretend to be friends at the expense
of the romance, or you can carry on as you would at home. A demure
approach always works, as people rarely notice same-sex couples unless
they're staring right at them at the moment they happen to be holding hands.
Most of the time, you'll just get a double
take, as the average person is either too hurried or self-absorbed to care.
I've gotten away with holding hands on the
Ocean City Boardwalk, otherwise known as the Redneck Riviera, with little
more than double takes and a few tentative smiles from supportive beach-goers.
Of course, there's also
safety in numbers, as we were with two other
gay couples and one straight couple, with all respective couples engaging
in nothing more than innocent hand holding.
Remember to keep your partner's comfort level
in mind. Being out is never easy and different for everyone.
While you may want the whole world to know
who your significant
other is, their discomfort can completely
ruin a holiday.
Traveling
tips
There's a lot of truth to safety in numbers.
People are a lot less likely to harass ten queers than just a couple.
Research your destination ahead of time to
find out the liberal or conservative bent of the community you'll be visiting.
Practice a little restraint. You'd be
surprised what you can get away with in public if you don't go out of your
way to draw attention to yourself.
Face it, in the name of
safety, sometimes you have to make sacrifices.
We do it
every day, and sometimes our vacations are
no different.
But don't let fear stop you from simple displays
of affection everyone else indulges in.
Major metropolitan areas and college campuses
tend to have generally open-minded populations.
And don't forget just
about anywhere in Europe. Remember,
we can get married in the Netherlands (hold hands in front of the Hague
- nobody will care) and "partnered" in six other European countries.
- Steven Kellert
Out and Proud
Gay Man
Willing Traveler
|
RelationTrips
Leave
your heart in San Francisco
but
don't leave your sexuality
in
the closet
Want to
head somewhere we you can feel free to be yourself, whether you are with
a partner, gay friends, or even straight friends who love you as you are?
Then head to San Francisco. From the first time the American flag
was hoisted over the tiny settlement of San Francisco (in 1846 when it
was known as Yerba Buena), this golden-gated city by the bay has undergone
multiple transformations. At different points in its history, it was a
Spanish missionary, a fishing port, and the center of the 1849 Gold Rush.
The City was destroyed by fire many times,
including the three-day inferno
that engulfed over four square miles of the downtown area following the
infamous 1906 earthquake.
By absorbing the multicultural
influences shaping the texture and landscape of its inhabitants and architecture,
San Francisco has continued down this evolutionary path. These days, in
addition to its renowned landmarks like the Golden Gate Bridge, the only
functioning cable car system in the world, Chinatown, and the gaudy, touristy
Fisherman's Wharf, San Francisco functions simultaneously as the soul of
Silicon Valley, the Ellis Island of the West, a center of finance and banking,
and the leading gay & lesbian (and bisexual and transgender) Mecca
in the country. One may not think San Francisco deserves such a lofty title,
judging by the relatively compact parcel of real estate that makes up the
Castro District, or by the scattering of gay establishments in the Polk
Gulch and South of Market (SOMA) areas. But therein lies the beauty of
San Francisco as the gay universe. Its boundaries have been liberated beyond
the closets of these “gay ghettos” even though they do serve as important
focal points of gay San Francisco. What this means is there is a bounty
of recreational options available to the savvy gay traveler, with the freedom
to peruse these attractions without the apprehension and fear of homophobic
backlash that can be experienced at other mainstream vacation destinations.
The Rainbow Flag
In 1978, San Francisco artist, Gilbert Baker,
designed the Rainbow Flag for the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Freedom
Day Parade. It is officially recognized by the International Congress of
Flag Makers.
With such wide open options,
it makes sense to pick a starting point and expand your adventure from
there, so it may be easiest to start in the heart of gay San Francisco,
the Castro. The Castro begins at the intersection of
Market, 17th, and Castro Streets,
marked by the historic Castro Theater and the enormous rainbow flag flying
high above Harvey Milk Plaza, and extends two blocks down Castro Street
to 19th Street. The middle of this stretch of
Castro is intersected by 18th
Street, which provides another avenue of popular bars, shops, and restaurants.
In the Castro, you¹ll find every rainbow-flagged and pink-triangled
trinket and tchatchke imaginable. Does Your Mother Know (4079 18th), Does
Your Father Know (548 Castro), Don't Panic (541 Castro), Wild Card (3979
17th), and Under One Roof (549 Castro) are among the most popular stores.
If it's the latest in skin tight gym bunny and the trendiest club kid clothing
you and your friends are looking for, your search can begin and end in
the Castro. Some of the clothing shops offer eye popping creations at mind
blowing prices, while a few others have some smart discount racks providing
the same items at more affordable rates. My favorites are Clobba (587 Castro),
All-American Boy (463 Castro), and InJeanious (432 Castro). If you are
hit by your devil-may-care indulgent side, Body Body, Citizen, and Rolo
will sell you a $300 pair of mules or resplendent polyester 50s retro style
bowling shirts for $150 and up.
When it comes to the bar and
club scene, San Francisco takes on an almost uncharacteristic segregation
of proclivity and fetish. Jocks and twinks permeate most Castro bars, western
and leather daddies proliferate SOMA bars, and Polk Gulch is the preferred
hangout of the 70s old- school gay crowd with a heavy dose of Asians in
drag. In my opinion, the best time is to be had at Harvey's at 18th and
Castro, especially on Monday evenings during Power Jack's Trivia Night.
You can spend the evening thinking (playing in groups, a good way to meet
new people) and drinking and there is no charge (no charge to play trivia,
that is; you have to pay for your cocktails). Also on Monday evenings,
Piaf's (a bistro located at 1686 Market Street, about half mile northeast
of Castro Street) offers laughs with your libations as it hosts the open
mike gay comedy concept abandoned by the once popular, but now defunct,
Josie's Juice Joint. You can also karaoke to your heart's content
at the Mint (1942 Market) every night of the week, provided you can wrest
the microphone out of the hands of the hard-core regulars and burgeoning
Star Search drag queens. For a basic night out at your friendly neighborhood
bar, Moby Dick (Dick's to the regulars) at 4049 18th Street can't be beat.
It's the kind of place your pappy used to go to escape from your naggin'
mammy, and offers pool, pinball, and a huge tropical aquarium that runs
behind the length of the bar.
To get the whole story on the
Castro, including its history and tales of its most famous residents (like
Harvey Milk), reserve a spot on Trevor Hailey's Crusin' the Castro walking
tour by visiting www.webcastro.com/castrotour/index.html.
Summer marks the beginning of
the "Gay High Holy Days," as there seems to be an event for every holiday
and extended weekend from Memorial Day to Halloween. Check out the following
web site for information on Pride Day, Folsom Street Fair, Castro Street
Fair and other attractions celebrating all that is gay: www.gayglobal.com/san_francisco/events/index.html
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AND ABOUT IN AMERICA'S GAY AND LESBIAN MECCA
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Francisco Gay and Lesbian Highlights
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Beyond
the strictly gay
Fantastic
features of San Francisco to be enjoyed by everyone.
Restaurants for Brunch
Welcome Home, 464 Castro.
Plain
old comfort food at very reasonable prices and excellent breakfast/brunch.
It's diner style and the name says all about the atmosphere. The perfect
starting point before your Castro tour.
Bitter Root, 3122 16th. Fabulous
brunch specials in a country western setting with a urban twist of funky.
Have brunch, then walk a few blocks west to Dolores Street and explore
the Mission Dolores. The mission is the oldest
structure within the city limits
(est. 1776) and contains one of the only cemeteries in town too! Admission
about $4.
Ella's, 500 Presidio.
Get there early 'cuz the wait gets long. Enjoy yummy food and a sunny dining
experience, and afterward go touring by foot or car through Pacific Heights
and marvel at the estates and mansions you'll covet forever.
Louis', 902 Point Lobos Avenue.
Another
diner style restaurant that you'll want to hit early. A little pricier
than Welcome Home, but what the heck! You have spectacular views
of the ocean. >From here you can easily hit The Cliff House for the Musee
Mechanique, 1090 Point Lobos Avenue (a treasure trove of antique mechanical
coin operated amusements and other video games), and the Camera Obscura
(a da Vinci styled viewing device employing mirrors and lenses and natural
light which provides a 360 degree rotating view of Ocean Beach, Seal Rock
and the mighty Pacific Ocean). Admission $1 (yes, one dollar). You may
also choose to take a southern hike down the long stretch of Ocean Beach
and through the crown jewel of the San Francisco Park System, Golden Gate
Park. Or you can go north through the ruins of the Sutro Baths or along
the trails of Land's End to catch stunning glimpses of The Golden Gate
Bridge.
Afternoon and Evening Delights
Union Square. For more
upscale shopping and other fun, the place to go is Union Square, bounded
on the north and south by Post & Geary Streets, and the east and west
by Stockton and Powell Streets. Here you¹ll find shopping
at Macy's, Border's, the Disney
Store and FAO Schwarz, San Francisco's theater district, expensive hotels,
and the historic and infamous Maiden Lane (extending east from the eastern
side of the Square between Post and Geary), where some of the most notorious
and dangerous brothels and saloons once stood. The Powell Street Cable
Car station is located a few blocks south of the Square where Powell meets
Market Street. Cable car rides are $3 and exact change is required. The
wait is usually extremely long.
North Beach. Running
the length of Columbus Avenue just north of the Financial District and
east of Chinatown is North Beach, San Francisco's “Little Italy.” This
is the best people watching neighborhood in the city with restaurants and
pastry shops guaranteed to fatten up even the most skinny and athletic
individuals. Caffe Treiste (601 Vallejo) offers authentic European attitude
and Saturday afternoon opera, and bistros like Cafe Macaroni (59 Columbus),
Mona Lisa's (353 Columbus), and Michelangelo Cafe (579 Columbus) will woo
you in with irresistibly fragrant scents of sauces and spices (and swarthy
Italian servers). At the northern end of Columbus Avenue is Washington
Square Park, a patch of green with sidewalks and benches where you can
play a game of Frisbee or watch a volleyball match. Another historic church,
Saints Peter and Paul Cathedral, is also located on the Square. Of course
at the pinnacle of North Beach is Coit Tower, a monument to the first watchtower
and semaphore signaling station at the summit of Telegraph Hill. Completed
in 1933 and constructed using the funds bequeathed by Lillie Hitchcock
Coit, the Tower provides breathtaking views of the entire north and east
bays, the East Bay cities of Berkeley and Oakland, the Financial District,
Fisherman's Wharf, the Marina, and both the Golden Gate and Oakland-SF
Bay Bridges.
Haight-Asbury. The epicenter
of all that is Hippy, the Haight, as it is most commonly called, is not
a universe that appeals to all tastes. The Haight runs east-west, just
south of the Golden Gate Park Panhandle, and dead ends right at the entryway
to the grand Park itself. The Haight is home to many runaway teens and
other drifters attempting to keep that spirit of the 60s alive, living
side-by-side with the regular residents, which combine to create a unique
visual, aural, and olfactory sensation. Best experienced by day, the Haight
offers an interesting blend of shopping and dining venues, highlighted
by several overstuffed used bookstores, head shops, T-shirt stores, and
a rather disheartening Gap located right at the famous Haight-Asbury intersection.
At the western end of the street is the location of my favorite dinner
restaurant in the entire city, Cha Cha Cha's (1801 Haight). You can wait
up to two hours for a table, but the Cuban cuisine within is more than
worth the wait. While you are waiting, you have the option of passing the
time at the crowded bar downing pitchers of sangria, or you can go a few
doors down to Amoeba Records and lose yourself in the cavernous warehouse
of new and used vinyl, CDs, videos, dvds, and laser discs in every genre
of music and movies known to mankind. After dinner, just get out of the
Haight.
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Going
North
Sonoma County Wine Tasting.
If
you want to take a day trip outside the confines of the city, the best
place to go is north to Sonoma County and sample the superb wines produced
in the heart of California wine country. Taking Highway 101 north
of the Golden Gate Bridge, the easy to follow signs will lead you right
into the Sonoma town square (basically, Highway 101 to Rt. 37 to Rt. 121
into Sonoma). Before you reach Sonoma, it is best to stop at the Sonoma
Wine Country Information Center for local maps and listings of vineyards
and tasting rooms. You can either spend the day going from winery to winery,
or you can do a one-stop shopping of sorts at tasting rooms like Family
Wineries of Sonoma County or the Wine Room. Both of these establishments
offer a variety of wines produced by the smaller vineyards that really
can't support the full-fledged winery experience. The greatest
feature of these tasting rooms
is that you get to sample rarer vintages, which are usually served by the
wine makers themselves! You also get to taste more wines than at the bigger
vineyards and the tasting is free! Be sure to eat in Sonoma or bring a
picnic lunch before you indulge. You'll thank me later.
Driving the California Coast.
Another
option is to drive the California coast along the number one highway in
the country, Highway 1! One of the most efficient and unforgettable ways
to experience this parcel of paradise is to start early, pick up Highway
1 from Highway 101 at the Sausilito/Muir Woods exit and hit the winding,
beautiful vistas overlooking the Pacific's rocky coast. Prepare to stop
in the town of Stinson Beach for breakfast at the Parkside Cafe (order
the fried, red pepper polenta!) Continue north on Highway 1 and you will
pass by Tomales Bay where the main source of income is derived harvesting
the oyster beds within. Highway 1 will eventually take you into the town
of Bodega Bay. Made famous by Alfred Hitchcock when he used it as the location
for his psychological thriller classic “The Birds,” Bodega Bay is really
only interesting as a novelty now. Almost all
of the original locations were
either fabricated in the studio or were set pieces that are long since
gone, and California earthquake safety regulations required the replacement
of the entire pier along the bay. The one exception to this, and the whole
point of traveling to Bodega Bay, is located one mile east in the town
of Bodega. It was here where the real Potter School is located, along side
the historic Saint Teresa's Church, both of which were featured prominently
in the film. Although the Potter School is now a private residence, it
will still send chills up and down your spine as you turn the bend and
crest the road leading to its foreboding facade. Keep one eye to the sky!
Guerneville. It's just
like the little hometown you left behind in Ohio or Iowa, but it's very,
very gay! Like San Francisco only much smaller. Located along the
Russian River, this getaway town provides the full gay experience among
the redwoods and natural surroundings. Many bed & breakfasts, camp
grounds, and motel/resorts abound in Gureneville. Several, such as Fife's
(16467 River Road, 1-800-734-3371) and the Highland's Resort (14000 Woodland
Drive, 1-707-869-0333) offer day passes for use of their facilities (pools,
hot tubs), as well as accommodations for overnight stays. If you
stay in Guerneville for the weekend or the week, the availability of outdoor
recreational activities are plentiful. The area offers excellent hiking,
biking, and canoeing opportunities. For more information on Guerneville
events and facilities, contact the Russian River Region Visitors Bureau,
1-800-253-8800 or the Russian River Chamber of Commerce, 16200 First Street,
1-707-869-3533.
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